________________________________________
The next morning, you're poring over a design drawing when you get a text from Amber. It lands in a three way conversation with her, you, and Rya.
"Got the devices, looks like they're working," it says simply.
You recall the preemptive agreement you had with Rya, then take the lead and reply, "Then we begin. Amber, today we want you to have a milkshake."
Amber's reply is a simple "ok," and you put the matter from your head for the day. You finish up your work and head over to Rya's place. She's prepped a huge pot of thick stew, and the two of you check the file-sharing site while gulping down the delicious meal.
Nothing yet.
You and Rya try not to obsess over the matter, and do an ok job of distracting yourself for the next hour or so. Just as you put your phone down and prepare to dig into some gaming, you suddenly get a text from Amber, "I had a milkshake, and I uploaded the video. Why don't you give it a watch?"
Rya hauls herself up first and takes your hand, leading you to the computer. Feeling cheeky, you sit in her heavy-duty office chair, and beckon Rya to settle her fat ass on your lap. The chair creaks ominously under your combined weight as Rya's hips engulf your lap. You clumsily reach around and pat her tummy, asking, "Hey, is your chair going to be ok?"
Rya gently grabs your hand and chuckles, "It's German and rated for 500 kilos. We're not that big yet, it should be fine."
Before you can even interrogate the inclusion of "yet", Rya's free hand has taken the mouse and has begun navigating to the file-sharing host. Sure enough, there's one new file, a video uploaded by "user:amber". Rya clicks it.
The video opens with a view of a decently sized fast-food milkshake sitting on Amber's dining table – you can still recognize the kitschy crap on the wall in the background of the shot. Amber walks into frame, and your jaw drops as you see she's only in a white bra. She sits down at the table and says, "Day 1, milkshake."
She picks up the cup, pries off the lid and brings the sweaty paper cup to her lips. You can't see her face, but you can see her perky boobs moving up and down as she chugs the dessert. Rya's just as annoyed as you are, but you keep watching the clip. After a few chugs, Amber pulls the cup away from her face, revealing some chocolaty cream dripping down her chin. She licks it up messily and ineffectually, then resumes slurping down the milkshake. She moans with delight as she drains the cup, and says into the camera, "Mmm. So good."
Rya interjects, "Are you kidding me? She's being a creep. I don't want to watch this."
You're fuming too, and delete the video without finishing it. With some difficulty, you fish out your phone while still pinned under Rya's hips, and fire off an indignant text to Amber, "What the hell was that? You agreed to not make it weird or lewd! Bad start, Amber."
Amber replies with an apologetic "Sorry. I was just having fun."
A growling sigh is your first reply, then you digitally retort, "It's not about fun. You can have fun by yourself. We agreed to rules for the therapy arrangement, and you being an exhibitionist is not in alignment with those rules!"
"Fine, fine, I get it, and I'm sorry," she replies. "I'll try again, but this time I'll free pick some food."
"That's acceptable, but I won't hand out another second chance."
Rya pats your forearm approvingly, "I think you handled that well."
The inflammatory exchange concluded, Rya finally slides her massive ass forwards off of your lap. You take a minute to let some blood re-perfuse your legs, then stand and follow her to the kitchen for some snacks, suddenly feeling peckish in spite of your pique.
You and Rya take turns digging out handfuls of potato chips, leaning against the countertop, munching, and thinking. "It's super weird that she made a scene out of her debut video," Rya says.
"I think she still enjoys pushing boundaries. She can do that, just not in this space, not with us," you say.
You and Rya grab a couple of beers to go with your chips, then go to laze about in the living room.
About another hour later, you get another text from Amber.
"I went and got a cheeseburger meal. Video should be uploaded."
You and Rya go back to the computer, expecting the worst.
The new thumbnail is black, auguring nothing either good or bad.
A video pops up, framed the same as the first – Amber didn't move the camera, though there is a plate sitting on the table now. She enters the frame, presumably just after starting recording, and sits down. She's dressed sensibly this time, wearing a casual green T-shirt. She sets a paper bag on the table, along with a cup covered in Burger Tyrant logos. She pulls a small bottle of water out of her purse and takes a healthy quaff, then sets the bottle somewhere out of frame.
"Alright," she says. "Day one-point-five. Cheeseburger meal, with a full-sugar soda."
She grabs the burger out of the bag, unwraps a corner of paper, takes a bite, then says, "I'm sorry for being weird earlier today. I won't do it again."
You're not sure what to say to that, so you just shrug and watch.
Amber methodically munches through the burger, not really saying much. She occasionally comments on the flavor, being pleasantly surprised by the quality of the mass-produced meal.
She finishes the cheeseburger, then crumples up the wrapper and sets it aside. She takes a swig of her soda and groans, "Oh, it's so sweet..."
Amber swallows, then pats her trim tummy, saying, "Oof, that burger was good, but it was so rich. I'll do my best with these fries, but no promises."
You and Rya both chuckle knowingly.
She takes another swig of soda, then shrugs. "Honestly, I'm really surprised at how good this junk food really is."
Amber then extracts a bag of french fries and spreads them out on the plate, folding a small clutch of the longer fries into her mouth. A quiet moan, barely picked up by the camera mic, betrays her enjoyment. The gulp that follows seems a little forced, though. You never knew Amber to be a big eater, and just what you've seen on camera is a lot for her. She's clearly starting to struggle a bit, but there's a determination behind her discomfort.
"Honestly, anything else on top of that milkshake would be too much. That burger was still so good, and it somehow went down so easy..."
She takes another swig of soda, then sets the cup down and rubs her stomach. "Next time, I'll eat the fries first. They're better fresh, but I'm not wasting what's left here."
Amber groans slightly as she scarfs down the last few handfuls of fries. The meal finished, your ex wipes her hands on her pants and exhales heavily. She gingerly holds her stomach, wincing a bit.
"God, I'm so full..."
You and Rya chuckle lightly at the smaller girl's discomfort. "Lightweight," you jokingly scoff.
The Amber on the screen looks wearily at the camera and says, "I hope you don't mind that I went a little off-script today. I'll be good in the future, and I'm kind of looking forward to see what you'll suggest next." She leans across the table, stretching to reach the camera, and the video stops.
You and Rya laugh a little as you finish up the video. "Alright," Rya says. "I think she's back in good standing. Let's see if she stays there."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You and Rya integrate the "food suggestion to eating video" loop into your lives easily enough. The two of you take turns making food suggestions for Amber to try, always brief, vague and implying a sampling or a light snack. "Chocolate." "Bacon." "Shrimp." "Cookie." "Corn." "Pizza." "Ice cream." "Hot dog." "Donut." "Pretzels." "Chips." "Soup." "Peanut butter" actually gets turned down, so "Hamburger" gets counter-offered.
Despite the lewd first video, Amber follows through on her promise to be good. Each of the subsequent eating clips she submits is fairly flat and matter-of-fact, always filmed at her dining table. She usually has a snack-sized quantity of the day's specified food, but once in a while she'll appear on screen with a hearty helping. You and Rya start finding yourselves lightly excited to see how Amber fulfills your requests each day, though you make a very conscious effort to not get emotionally invested.
The agreed-upon month of this arrangement wraps up, and you and Rya join Amber on a video call with her therapist, Dr. Peck. You're mostly there as observers. He starts the discussion with a question. "So, today's the thirtieth day of this unusual little culinary experiment. Amber, what food suggestion did you get for today?"
"Today was a little different. Anon and Rya are usually pretty vague, but today the message said, quote, Celebrate, get the biggest steak you can handle, cooked just the way you like it."
"What are your thoughts so far?" Dr. Peck asks.
"I'm... excited," the Amber on the screen replies, tugging a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Sure, I've liked a good meal just as much as anybody, but there was...guilt attached to having something too rich, too fattening."
"How so?"
"We've talked about this, doc. I was obsessed with my image, and that meant staying skinny. I wanted to enjoy food and cut loose, but couldn't. And, as we figured out, I think that's why I wound up developing a feeding fetish centered on Anon."
You reflexively bristle at the mention of that, but you also feel a sense of closure that Amber admitted its wrongness so openly.
"And you don't feel any pressure to follow that same pattern at this time?"
Amber smiles. There's a genuine warmth and satisfaction in her expression that you've never seen before.
She says, "No. I'm not going to be that Amber any more. I've grown to actually really enjoy getting the eating suggestions, it's like I'm getting permission to eat what I want and to enjoy myself."
"What about the guilt you were talking about earlier? Do you still feel any of that?"
"Nope," Amber giggles. "In fact, I've actually gained about fifteen pounds, and I couldn't care less."
The therapist chuckles as well. "Well, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself," he says. "It sounds like you're doing very well."
"Yeah, it is pretty fun," Amber agrees.
She abruptly cuts herself off, "Oh, and doc, I know you're thinking it, but spare me the spiel about how gaining weight is bad and yadda yadda..."
You and Rya give each other knowing glances.
"I wasn't actually going to say anything, but since you brought it up (ahem)..." the therapist replies. "Seeing your body change like this is a new experience for you, and you're probably uncomfortable to some degree, whether you admit it or not."
"It's fine," Amber says. "I mean, it's not bad. And I actually kind of like it."
"I'm glad to hear that," the therapist says. "I am still going to give you a quick spiel, but it's a different one."
Amber cocks her head.
"The number on the scale isn't particularly my concern," Dr. Peck says. "Yes, you should still try to stay active, but the main thing here is for you to be kind to yourself. You are experiencing a lot of new and difficult emotions, exploring a lot of sensations concerning food, and reconnecting with your body. Plus, and I hate to say it, but you're well past being a hyperactive teenager. It's normal for metabolisms to slow down and for hormones to reshuffle, so it's also normal for your body's setpoint to shift."
"I think I know what you're saying," Amber says. "You know, I feel like, for the first time in my life, I feel like me."
"That's... Not really what I meant, but I'm glad you feel comfortable," the therapist says.
The session goes back and forth for a bit longer. Time runs short, and everybody is preparing to leave the call, but Amber cuts in with one last comment.
"I want to do eleven more months of the food suggestion thing. Make it a whole year," she blurts out. "I want to keep doing it. I'm actually really enjoying it."
"Well... I'm not against that," the therapist says hesitantly. "But extending it out to a whole year is quite the commitment."
Amber looks into the camera, "Dr. Peck, it's not really your decision to make. Anon, Rya, are you two willing to continue our little arrangement?"
You and Rya look at each other, and she nods.
"I'm in," Rya says.
"Same, I guess," you say.
Dr. Peck pauses for a long moment, then hastily scribbles down some notes.
"Well, it sounds like this decision is out of my hands, not that I ever really had any power to begin with. I suppose I'm obligated to say that each of you should retain veto power over the arrangement."
"You're not obligated to do anything," Amber says. "Dr. Peck, this has kind of evolved into a fun, slightly weird hobby that three grown-ups share."
Rya cuts in. "I think she's saying that we have the means to keep it going regardless of what you say."
"Well, yes, that's a simple acknowledgment of fact," the therapist says. "To be clear, I'm not recommending against it."
Amber says, "I know. But as odd as it may sound, I really do think this is helping me. And because the food suggestion thing is therapeutic, I want you to be in the loop, Dr. Peck."
"Understood," the doctor says.
He then smiles, and his voice takes on a brighter tone as he adds, "Amber, I really am very happy with the progress you've made. You've set goals for yourself, and I'm glad to say I see a much kinder and very genuine young woman on my screen."
"Thanks, Dr. Peck," she says. "And thank you for everything you've done so far."
Amber's blushing. You didn't think she was capable of that.
"You're very welcome," he says.
"So," Dr. Peck says, quietly clapping his hands for emphasis. "I'm going to co-sign today's food assignment. Get yourself a nice steak, celebrate yourself and your progress."
"Will do," Amber says, smiling warmly.
Rya cuts in, "Hey, I know today's assignment is pretty specific. I'm willing to comp your bill if it's too spendy."
"Really?" Amber says, brightening up. "That's too nice, but I'm going to pass. It's ok, I really don't mind."
With that, you all say your goodbyes and log off.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A few hours later, you're hanging out at Rya's place. She's on the exercise bike in the other room, huffing and puffing mightily over the steady sound of the mechanisms.
Your lounging is interrupted by a shared text from Amber. "Ate at the Trailhead Steakhouse," it reads. "The video's up. I really went all out... I'm still so stuffed, but it was so good..."
"Amber's video is up," you call out.
Rya calls back, between heavy breaths, "Ok, honey... Almost done.... On pace... Whew... To... Break my record..."
You wait patiently for Rya to wrap up her workout. A few minutes later, you hear the whirring of the bike stops, and Rya staggers into the living room. She's wearing her customary workout combo of spandex shorts (with a reinforced front for containing a supersized belly) and sturdy sports bra. The abundant flesh she's showing is flushed red and covered in sweat.
Rya is practically gasping for breath, and theatrically lays down on the floor with an exhausted giggle. "Broke my record!" She groans.
"Congrats," you say, smiling.
"That was brutal," Rya says, wheezing. "I'm totally wiped out." Her sweaty body heaves rhythmically as she tries to catch her breath.
"C'mon, you gotta stretch and cool down properly, or you'll be hella sore tomorrow," you reply.
Rya whines petulantly, but accepts your helping hand and hauls herself to a sitting position. She stretches out her chunky legs as her breathing steadies. She really is quite flexible, and not just when considering her size.
"Feeling any better?" you ask after a few minutes.
"Much," Rya says. "I'll be ready to kill it tomorrow too."
You smile. Rya's determination is always a shock to others; they doubtlessly expect a whiny soft pushover, and always get nothing of the sort. She mops up her sweat with a towel and follows you into the kitchen. The two of you load up on big bowls of pasta – penne carbonara tonight - then get comfy in the living room.
You pull up Amber's latest eating video and cast it to the big screen TV. An exchanged glance.
"Let's do it," she says.
You press play, and Amber's face appears on the screen. She looks... Different. Plumper. Cheekier. More laid back. You're not quite sure how, but she actually looks happier than she has in the past.
"I feel like a new person," she says, beaming at the camera. The framing is different this time. Amber's holding the camera at arm's length, and the background is the sophisticated trappings of the Trailhead Steakhouse.
"It's day thirty of the viewer suggested food sampling challenge," Amber says, actually convincingly pretending to be a video influencer. "I've had a great time, tried so many amazing foods, and you guys agreed pretty much unanimously that it was time to do something a little special."
She winks at the camera and you smile in spite of yourself. Amber isn't actually some viral star, but she also hasn't said anything false.
The view shakes around as Amber sets the camera on the table and fiddles with a tripod. Finally satisfied, Amber properly reenters the frame and sits at the restaurant table.
As she moves towards her seat, you see that she's wearing a blue dress. Not particularly showy or attention-grabbing, but something that's stylish and... very well-fitted to Amber's body.
The garment seems particularly tight around her hips, and you wonder if she chose the dress specifically because it was a little too small. You mentally slap yourself for getting so drawn into the video of your ex.
"Alright, alright," she says. "Let's do this."
Part of a waiter appears in frame and seems to address Amber, though you can't quite hear what he says. Amber puts on some puppy dog eyes and says, "I'm filming a food vlog, I hope it's not an issue?"
The waiter says something indeterminate, and Amber's face softens into a smile. She replies, "I called ahead earlier, but it's good to be certain. Heck, it's why I requested a secluded table."
She pats the table and giggles a little awkwardly before ordering a glass of wine. After the waiter disappears, she picks up a menu briefly, but fiddles with the angle a little to ensure her face remains visible. Looking past the side of the menu, she then returns her attention to the camera, clearly about to share her thoughts on the offered meals, when you hear a knock at the door.
Rya groans and says that she'll deal with it. You pause and switch the TV away from Amber's candid video as Rya hauls herself to her feet and waddles stiffly to the door. She stretches slightly to eye the peephole. before frowning and saying something through the door that you can't quite make out.
She turns to you and says, "We got a problem."
You make a confused noise, then Rya giggles and replies, "You'll see."
She opens the door and you see her neighbor Craig standing there holding a box. Craig is middle-aged, chubby and schlubby, but very nice. He holds out the box and says, "Hey, neighbor. Hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Rya laughs and says, "You're not interrupting anything. We were just watching some TV."
Craig looks past Rya and sees you sitting on the couch. You shoot him a smile and a wave, and he gives a quick wave back.
"So, Rya," Craig says. "I bought the wife this big box of cupcakes, but we mutually decided it's way more than we can finish. So I'm honoring the little no-waste treaty and bringing them to you."
Rya smiles and takes the box of cupcakes from Craig. "You are so sweet, Craig."
Craig grins. "That's what neighbors are for."
Rya giggles, then you all say some goodbyes as Craig turns to leave. Rya closes the door, shuffles back to the couch and puts the box of cupcakes on the living room table.
You chuckle, remembering the agreement Rya has with her neighbors. Several of them are more calorie-conscious than you or Rya, but they also hate throwing out food. So, instead, they occasionally bring their leftovers to Rya. She recalls it was awkward the first time the idea came up, but the neighbors wound up loving it and word got around.
Rya grabs a couple donated cupcakes and sits back down on the couch.
"I'll have to sample some of these cupcakes."
You decide to save your share of the desserts for later, then switch the TV back to Amber's eating video. As you do, you banter with Rya, "You're so lucky to have neighbors who ensure you won't go hungry."
"I know, right?" Rya replies, then swallows a mouthful of cake and frosting.
She then giggles and grabs a handful of her pillowy belly, giving it a good jiggle.
"I gotta make sure I refuel properly after working my fat ass so hard today," Rya laughs.
You laugh with her, then lean over and give her a kiss. She deepens it more than you expected, and her sugar-coated tongue darts into your mouth. You pull back and chuckle, "Those cupcakes are good. We'll make sure there are no survivors tonight."
Rya smirks and gives your thigh a squeeze. "You'll see how good I am at killing 'em."
You share a moment of tender looks, then turn your attention back to the screen, and your own heaping pasta bowls.
The video resumes. Amber receives her wine (a rich red), and orders a starter salad. The salad arrives after a few awkward minutes, then she digs right in. Amber comments positively on the quality of the ingredients, particularly how fresh everything is. She talks about how lucky she is to live in a city with such a great farmer's market, and how the steakhouse sources their food. She forks a few bites into her mouth.
You eat your own food subconsciously in sync, watching your ex. On screen, Amber giggles, "I'm turning into such a foodie to be gushing over vegetables. But I can't help it – they're good! Oh, man, I'm really looking forward to the main course then..."
You continue eating in silence, enjoying the company of your girlfriend. The video plays, and you eat, and it's almost like the three of you are eating together.
Amber soon finishes the salad and orders her main course: a "personal feast", an 18-ounce ribeye steak (rare of course), with gourmet mac and cheese and roasted vegetables drenched in butter. She also asks for extra bread and butter, plus another glass of wine.
With the order placed, Amber finishes the rest of her salad, then reaches out for something on the front of the camera. The video speeds up, and a few minutes of real time pass in a few seconds of footage. It's mostly her sipping wine and playing on her phone.
She abruptly reaches for the camera again at hyper-speed, and the playback returns to normal. The mostly off-screen waiter deposits a large plate in front of Amber sporting a perfect-looking steaming ribeye steak. He also drops off bowls containing her sides and the extra glass of wine, and you distinctly hear him bid Amber "bon appetit".
Amber smiles, slices off a bit of steak, takes a bite, and chews thoughtfully.
Then she gasps. "Oh, my God, this is so good!" She wolfs down her first bite, then quickly cuts a second portion.
You think back to when you were still dating Amber. You remember that she enjoyed the occasional good meal, but you've never seen her light up like this. She really does seem to have become a foodie, and you feel a little conflicted.
You continue to eat, watching her on the screen. She talks about how great the steak is, how tender it is, how it's the best she's ever had. Then she switches gears, spearing a few vegetables on her fork. She lifts them up slightly, chuckling as thick drops of herb-infused butter drip down. She bites her lip with anticipation, then crams the whole forkful into her mouth.
She moans in delight, and then chews slowly, letting the flavors linger on her tongue. While chewing, she briefly looks at her phone again, perhaps to check the time, but you can tell she's truly enjoying herself. Amber then loads up another forkful of green beans and broccoli sprouts, swirling them in the dish to really load up on butter. She then leans in and also greedily stuffs the big bite past her lips. A small bead of butter escapes from the corner of her mouth as she chews with satisfaction.
"I think I can feel myself getting fatter with every bite," she says after wiping her mouth.
She laughs a little, then gestures to the plate. "But this kind of food is definitely too good. If the price for enjoyment is plumping up, then I don't think I mind." Another laugh, then a nod to the camera, "I'm such a dork."
She switches again, taking a bite of the macaroni and cheese. Amber visibly melts into her seat as she chews it up. Addressing the camera again, "I'm sorry guys, that's an insensitive way to phrase it. But I really can't help but be conflicted."
You and Rya glance at each other. Though Amber is pretending to address faceless social media fans, you know perfectly well that this is actually a thinly-veiled personal message from her.
You tilt your head, and Rya makes a gesture to the effect of "let's see where this goes".
On screen, Amber sighs, then gestures to her food. "I'm gonna get just a little personal for a bit," she says, still pretending to be a social media star. "I've been obsessed with my fitness, my body image, and my overall vibe for pretty much my entire life. It.... Led me to some not-great places."
She looks down at her food, and you smile ruefully, knowing exactly what she means.
"Those of you who've been following for a while know that I've been going to therapy. I realized that I'd been living my life according to what I thought people wanted from me. I wasn't doing what I wanted."
She shakes her head. "But now I'm writing a new chapter in my story. Life is too long to be anybody but yourself, and the Amber that I want to be wants to enjoy herself. If I put on weight, then so what – the extra thickness is a reminder of all the fun I've had, and the great memories I've made!"
Another pause to slice and eat a new morsel of steak. "And so, I want to indulge and try all the tasty foods. I'm going to stick with the suggestion challenge – I kind of want to stretch it all the way to a full year."
Swallow, a deft cut, and another hunk of marbled meat slides past her lips. Sliding the morsel into her cheek and speaking around it, she continues, "And if you're a viewer readying some shitty comment worrying about how I'm gonna get "gross" or unhealthy, then I think you can get bent. I don't want you here."
Her lopsided grin evens out as she chews and gulps down her latest bite. "I'm doing this for me. I want to see where this goes. And if I do get fat, then so be it. But I'm not doing this for anyone but myself."
You pause the video and lean back, digesting the words you just heard and the food in your stomach. Rya looks at you with confusion. "Are you ok?"
You sigh, take a moment to think, then reply, "This is either the greatest performance Amber's ever put on, or she's genuinely learned to use her narcissistic tendencies for self-improvement. She's tricked me before, but I really think she means it."
Rya raises an eyebrow. "You think she's genuinely changed?"
"Honestly? I still don't know. But I really hope so."
Rya shakes her head, but you can tell she's impressed.
"You're the only one who can know for certain, honey," Rya says. "I have so little experience with her, but what I've seen is very different from the Amber that you've described to me."
Rya suddenly prepares to say something else, but you hold up your hand.
"I know you believe me, and I'm really grateful," you say calmly. "I do think she's changed, and the proof is in the cake, as it were. The Amber I dated would lose her mind if she were ever an ounce over 125. I remember that number so specifically."
"And earlier today she laughed about having gained fifteen pounds," Rya cuts in. "And now she's wearing a tight dress that visibly shows off her plumper butt."
You raise an eyebrow, and make an unreadable expression.
Rya giggles and stands her ground. "Amber's a cute woman, Anon, and I think the extra weight looks good on her. It's ok to admit she looks nice, after all, you were attracted to her at one point."
A reply doesn't readily come, instead you find yourself thinking for a long moment on whether you actually want to be offended. Ultimately, you decide to be gracious but also honest.
With a chuckle, "Fine, yeah. Amber objectively looks nice, but honestly she doesn't do much for me now. Even taking the whole ex thing out of the equation."
"She's too skinny for me now! Rya, I'm a certified fat-o-holic, and you're my big girl of choice. You're so much hotter than any skinny girl, it's not even funny."
Rya laughs out loud, then wraps her arms around you and kisses you. "I love you, honey. I wouldn't trade you for any muscle dummy out there,"
"I love you too, Rya," you say, kissing her in return. You whisper in your ear, "But we both know darn well how much you love that I can throw you around. You've gotta be a big sturdy bear-man like me to do that properly!"
Rya giggles. "That's so adorable. You're so cute."
"You're cute," you say, hugging her.
"Mmmmm," Rya purrs.
The two of you cuddle for a tender moment, then Rya says, "Ok, you ready to finish watching your skinny ex gorge herself on a fatty dinner?"
You laugh, then nod. "Let's do it." You settle back and relax as Rya unpauses the video.
Amber doesn't get very personal again for the remainder of the footage. Instead she's pretty focused on eating the finely-prepped steak and packing away the generous side portions. She seems more relaxed and at ease with herself than she ever did when you were dating. She also pays more attention to her phone, checking in with it every few minutes.
You and Rya have practically inhaled your pasta dinners by now, and are working your way through the donated cupcakes one by one. You're both somewhat overfull, but it's a sensation you've both grown to appreciate.
Meanwhile on the screen, Amber is struggling to finish the last few bites of her meal. She's moving and eating much more slowly, and she's in visible discomfort. She sets down her fork and takes a deep breath, then she dabs around her mouth with a napkin. She rubs her overfull stomach, which is now visibly pooched out against the taut fabric of her dress. Amber sighs heavily, her eyes glazed as she slowly looks over the last remaining bits of food in front of her. "I'm gonna finish this. All of it, even if it kills me," Amber says to herself, then lifts her fork once again. She eats slowly, pausing after almost every bite to rub and poke at her stomach in obvious discomfort.
You and Rya are transfixed by her determination.
Finally, Amber lifts the last morsel of butter-drenched vegetables to her mouth. Her lips close and she chews slowly, deliberately, before swallowing hard. She gasps and leans back into the chair, dazed and content. "Mmmmm, that was good," she murmurs. "That was really good. I'm stuffed."
You and Rya grin.
Amber sits quietly for a time, gently rubbing her bloated belly and stifling some small burps. Her eyes snap open with shock when the waiter comes by to clear away the dishes and offer her a dessert menu. Amber chuckles, "Yeah, I could use something sweet to top this all off, but I might need a minute."
The waiter nods and his voice comes through on the video for the first time, "I understand. Would you like some fresh coffee while you decide?"
"Sure thing," Amber says.
The waiter leaves, and returns promptly with a small cup of coffee and a dessert menu. Amber sits quietly, rubbing her stomach and sipping her drink, waiting for her stuffed gut to settle as best as it can. You note that she didn't speed up this footage, perhaps she wanted you to see it clearly. After a few minutes, she finally looks up at the camera, and with a smile says, "I think it's dessert time."
The waiter must have heard Amber's quip, because he's next to the table moments later. Amber orders a slice of chocolate fudge cake with a grin.
"Sheesh, I never thought I'd get this stuffed," she says. "I feel like a cow. I probably look like one, too."
You and Rya smile at each other upon hearing Amber's words.
The slice of cake is dropped off a moment later. It's not very big, but it looks exceptionally rich, and is lavishly decorated with thick frosting. Amber stares at the dessert with a manifest mixture of dread and anticipation, then she lifts a dessert fork and loads up a morsel. "Mmmmm, this is good," she says after her first bite. "I'm full already, but this is soooooo goooood."
You and Rya chuckle and widen your grins, knowing full well what Amber's experiencing.
Amber forks another bite of the decadent cake into her mouth, and after savoring that one, she says, "It's happening, just like I knew it would. I've caught the food bug. I'm so full, but I just don't want to stop eating..."
She continues munching on the cake for several more moments, humming and moaning between bites. Finally she drops the fork and sighs happily. "That was perfect," she moans. Her face radiates bliss, and she sways slightly in her seat as she caresses her overstuffed belly. She licks her teeth and swallows the last remnants of chocolate before saying languidly, "Yep, I'm hooked. This feeling... I knew food was good, but being this full of good food is nothing short of magical."
Her words are punctuated with another round of contented sighs, and she hums a bit before continuing, "I'm so full, and I just wanna keep on eating and eating and eating..." She pats her bloated belly, and a slight wince briefly flashes on her contented face. She groans then giggles, "No more eating tonight though. If I cram one more speck of food into my tummy I'll explode."
You and Rya smile at that, knowing full well that Amber is quite correct. You can still see her bloated stomach poking through her dress, too. Amber's formerly trim middle has been so packed with dinner that she looks somewhat pregnant. Amber strokes her belly with about as much affection as a mother-to-be, as well. You're convinced; there's no way Amber could fake being this much of a foodie and a glutton without really meaning it.
You and Rya suddenly turn towards each other in shock. You realize that the two of you had been stuffing yourselves almost in lockstep with Amber on the screen, and the whole box of cupcakes is gone. The two of you giggle together as the fullness of your own bellies suddenly comes crashing down onto your awareness; you suddenly feel as though you've swallowed a warm bowling ball.
Amber finally stirs from her brief food coma and leans towards the camera with a grunt. "Thanks for watching," she says huskily. "I can't wait to see what you guys suggest next." She fumbles with something on the camera for a couple seconds, then the screen goes black.
You and Rya burst out laughing. "Okay, I gotta say, that was pretty great," Rya says.
"I'm a little bit disgusted with myself, actually," you say.
You shift your body awkwardly to try and accommodate the throbbing erection that's made itself present, and make no attempt at subtlety. As Rya's mirth evaporates, you lean back and stare at the ceiling, resting your hands on your gurgling, bloated stomach. "I really feel like I should hate Amber down to her core for what she did to me," you monologue quietly. "But watching her gain weight and slowly turn into a glutton herself is pulling out some really mixed feelings..."
Rya hums quietly then says, "I know what you mean. I feel like I should be disgusted with myself, too. But I can't help but get a kick out of her. I think I'm kinda..."
A thoughtful stroke over your swollen gut leaves a soothing warmth in its wake. Subconsciously you find yourself gently grabbing and jiggling a handful of your pudge, feeling the jiggle spread through your body.
"Rya," you start quietly. "I really appreciate you sticking by me through all this drama with my crazy ex. I can't think of many people who would tolerate this sort of continued contact, or the mixed feelings that I still have for or about Amber..."
Rya snorts softly. "You're talking to me, big boy. I love you, and I trust you absolutely," she smiles.
You feel your eyes getting misty as you turn to face Rya. You take a steadying breath and reply, "Thank you so much, baby. I love you too... It really means a lot to me that you're helping me face down the blonde demon from my past. It's such a big thing to ask, and I still feel kind of guilty for roping you in."
Rya chuckles. "You really shouldn't." She shifts on the couch to better face you, her soft creamy bulk wobbling as she settles and her huge stomach oozing over to touch your thigh. Then she props her elbow on the couch back and rests her cheek on her hand, slightly compressing her doughy second chin. Looking you dead in the eyes, she declares, "You're so fucking strong, Anon. And you know I don't mean your deadlift PR. It takes incredible character and fortitude to roll with what Amber did to you, and even more to be willing to forgive her."
You nod slowly, a tear running down your cheek.
Rya continues, "You've said that you were probably always destined to be a fat guy, and Amber was just the catalyst for your self-discovery. I'm so proud of you for living that truth, for being yourself, even if she revealed that truth to you in such a hurtful way."
"I really do love you," you say.
"I love you too, baby," she says.
You then lean in and softly kiss her. The two of you pull apart, and Rya nuzzles her chubby cheek into a cozy spot on your shoulder.
She whispers, "I still think a lot about our very first in-person meeting."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It still makes me so happy to remember how you didn't judge me for my size, or how we had to find a bigger seat for my huge ass."
You chuckle and lean in for another kiss. "Full disclosure, I couldn't keep my eyes off of that incredible behind,"
She sighs quietly but you feel her smile against your cheek. "I think," she starts. "That you showed me how to be comfortable with myself. I know it sounds odd given how much I outweigh you, but all the same. You just... radiated acceptance and niceness. Part of me still feels bad for taking it slow early on, but I just couldn't easily believe that you were such a genuinely nice guy."
"It's not a crime to be nice," you say.
"I know," she says.
Rya then whispers in your ear, "I'm so happy to have you in my life, Anon."
Wiggling an arm free, you reach out and gently grip the back of Rya's head. Your fingers carefully curl into her thick black hair, and you pull her close and kiss her deeply once more. As your tongues explore each other's mouths and lips, you move your hand down to Rya's back, signaling that you want to pull her closer. She obliges, pulling her face away from yours just long enough to heave her warm, fat, jiggly body to be straddling your lap. You groan and she chuckles, looking down at you with a mischievous grin.
"You eat a little too much tonight, hungry man?" She giggles.
With Rya's huge weight pressing against your chest and compressing your stuffed stomach, your breaths are tinged with discomfort, but you know your supersized girlfriend is probably faring little better. Your hands run along Rya's soft body and pinch her rolls seemingly on their own. Gazing into her deep dark eyes, you laugh back, "Not possible!"
Rya chuckles and shifts slightly, her breasts squishing against your face. You push your hands under her weight and cradle her heavy melons in your hands. She exhales sharply, and you effortfully glance over the tits smothering your face to make out Rya biting her lip. She takes another breath then addresses you, "Anon... I'm not trying to distract you from your angst, you know. I want to help you work through it."
"We can do that while you're straddling me, right?" You reply.
Rya lets out a playful sigh and hoists her heavy body upwards a little, then resettles gently on your lap. The result is that her body is no longer engulfing you quite so completely and your face is (disappointingly) no longer smooshed into her cleavage. Still, you smile and wrap your arms around her thick waist, holding her heavy body against your own. Rya takes another breath, and largely regains her serious composure.
"Anon, we've talked about kinks and preferences plenty of times before, right?" She asks.
"We have," you admit.
"And you've made it pretty clear that you have a rather strong submissive streak, and that you like overeating," she continues.
"I... do."
"And Amber was the first romantic partner who helped you explore and indulge that side of yourself, right?" Rya presses.
"Yes," you admit, your cheeks getting a little warm.
"So I think it's pretty natural for a sub to have pretty strong feelings regarding a dom that they'd known intimately for a long time. Your feelings about that kinky side of yourself are always going to be wrapped up in associations with that person, for good or for ill."
"I guess," you say, your face now getting a little hot.
"Am I making too many assumptions?" Rya asks, suddenly nervous.
"No, not at all. It's just..." your voice trailing off. You look away for a moment, then return your gaze to Rya's face.
"I'm... I'm remembering a lot of the intimate experiences I had with her. Rya, please don't be mad when I say this, but I still have a lot of really good memories about those experiences. Yes, they're tainted in retrospect, but you know how you felt so.... Validated when you met me? That I didn't care about your peculiarities or that I embraced them? Amber was like that with me. I know she started taking things way too far, but so much of it was her really getting my kinks and even showing me sides of myself that I didn't know were there."
Rya doesn't speak for several moments. Then she sighs and replies, "I'm not mad, Anon. I love you, and I want you to be able to process all of these experiences. I know I can't be the skinny bossy bitch that Amber was to you, and I'm glad that you're not expecting me to be."
She then squeezes you tight, and you hug her back. You have to stop yourself from sobbing, not because of any genuine embarrassment about your feelings, but because you're just so glad that she understands you.
"I can only describe it as exciting," you say quietly. "The experience of quote-unquote falling. The experience of transforming from a fit athlete with an active social life to an overfed, lazy boytoy himbo. It was so freeing to just let go of the discipline, restraint, and complexity in my life, and to just do what felt good with her. Towards the end... I found myself looking forward to the weekends with just the two of us. I found myself looking forward to my next force feeding session. Even when she took things too far, she still really knew how to resonate with that part of me..."
Something hot and wet leaks out of the corner of your eyes, and you realize for the first time in years, you're crying. You feel more ashamed at the tears than at admitting your self-destructive kink, then a moment later feel supremely foolish, draw a deep breath, squeeze your eyes shut, and stem the trickle.
"I'm sorry," she says, her voice hoarse.
"No, Rya, I'm sorry," You say shakily. "I'm a terrible boyfriend. I can't erase these memories, I can't banish how they made me feel. And I want to! I want to cut out that part of me so much!"
"It's okay," Rya says.
"No it isn't... I want to be here for you one hundred percent, and I can't do that so long as I'm haunted by her."
"I love you, Anon," she says, holding you tighter and gently soothing you.
"I love you too," you say.
The two of you sit there holding each other, the sounds of the city quietly humming away for a few long minutes.
Eventually, Rya gently speaks, "But I don't believe you. You've been there for me one hundred percent already near as I can tell."
"Anon. I really don't think any less of you for having such complicated feelings. Everything you've said makes me think that Amber was actually a good partner for a pretty long time. There's no shame in remembering the good times with the people we've known. I'm not jealous because I trust you, and I know there's no way you'll go running off to her. And I know you're still trying to square the lover and partner she used to be with the abusive monster she turned into."
"I know. I really do."
"So what do you want to do about it?" Rya asks.
"I want to forget her. I want to move past this."
Rya runs some plump fingers gently across your face and asks, "Do you want to exit the group therapy thing with her? You don't owe her peace of mind or healing, especially if it's at the expense of your own happiness."
You think for a long moment, then reply simply, "No."
She smiles, then leans in to kiss you. You return the kiss, and for a moment it's as if the world is at peace.
All too soon, she pulls back and says, "But may I ask why? I promise I'm not trying to change your mind."
It takes several long moments of hard thought and subconscious lip-gnawing to assemble your answer. "When I said I don't want revenge against her, I meant it. And I still do. This angst that I'm dealing with – it wouldn't be any easier were we to cut her loose, plus then I'd be wondering if my actions meant that she wouldn't become a better person."
You look away, and quietly speak past Rya, "I'm sorry. I should have known that this process wouldn't be so simple, that some buried feelings would eventually bubble up..."
Rya grabs your hand and smiles at you. "It's okay," She says. "You're not doing this alone. I'll be there for you, no matter what. I really admire that you can face your feelings like this."
"I don't know. I guess I still feel like a failure sometimes. Having dirty thoughts about my ex..." You shrug weakly.
"Well, you aren't a failure," Rya says.
You look at her with a hint of doubt. Rya hardens her gaze a little and smirks, "I'm serious. It's okay."
"It's not okay," you say. "I'm a horrible person. I'm not worthy of your love."
"Don't say that," Rya says, holding your hand tightly.
"Anon, having residual fantasies about an ex you once found intensely sexy is normal. I'm not insecure about that, I know you're wild about me and my body, and I know you'd never cheat."
Finally, you smile weakly. Rya leans forward and kisses you on the lips briefly. You take a deep breath, and Rya tenderly rests her forehead against yours for several long moments.
You close your eyes, take a few deep, slow breaths, and make a concerted effort to relax.
"I'm realizing," you quietly start. "That I want to stick with the group sessions because I hope that seeing Amber change will let me finally get out from under her shadow. It was easy for me to move past some of the residual feelings because I'm way less into skinny girls now. But seeing her with some extra weight, and seeing where that weight went... It'll be harder to easily write her off as quote not my type with every new pound she puts on."
Rya smiles softly and nods, waiting for you to continue.
"But..." you pause for a moment, then continue, "Fat Amber is clearly a different person than the skinny Amber I used to date. And maybe – if I can't forgive skinny Amber, maybe I can find it in myself to make a new start with fat Amber. And if fat Amber is easy on the eyes, then I guess that's just a nice bonus."
Rya giggles and you turn away, embarrassed, before she can see your face break out into a broad smile.
"I'm sorry," you apologize. "I'm rambling."
"No no, by all means, ramble as much as you need to," Rya laughs gently.
"I think that's actually about it."
"Well, do you feel better? Getting all of that off of your chest?"
"I feel better," you say.
"Good, good," Rya replies. She then leans forwards to settle her pillowy body onto your chest, and your arms wrap around her of their own accord. Rya again nuzzles her soft cheek against your shoulder, and you sigh in contentment.
A few moments pass, and you'd swear you feel Rya's face grow warmer against your neck.
"Anon," Rya whispers, almost beyond hearing, "You know... I don't think I'd mind hearing about some of those fantasies you have. Maybe they could generate some ideas for us in the bedroom..."
You feel your entire face flush.
"Like right now?" You almost manage to not stammer.
"I wouldn't say no to having some more interesting fun tonight, if you're up for it," Rya purrs.
It's been a day of brutal feelings, and you're too drained to respond right away. You frankly have no idea where Rya has the energy to pivot so easily. She laughs softly and kisses you on the cheek.
"I'm sorry, is this too soon or too much?"
In spite of everything, soon your mind whirls, spinning all kinds of BDSM scenarios involving Rya and food. The first scenario that coalesces is something simple: You could have Rya tie you up, then force you to eat cake. Pretty basic, and you create and discard more elaborate scenarios, but you keep circling back around to this very straightforward scene.
"No," you say. "This will be perfect."
Rya shifts her weight, and you feel her chub brush against your chest. She looks at you with anticipation.
"I already know you like taking charge when we fuck," You say, "So I think you'll have fun with this. You will need to do most of the work, but I don't think you'll mind."
Rya bounces her eyebrows suggestively, prompting you to continue.
"Rya, how'd you feel about tying me up and stuffing me even fuller with some cake?"
Rya nods, smiling, and leans in for a kiss.
"I'm in."
You pull her close and deepen the kiss. Abruptly you pull away and whisper in her ear, "And then, when I'm too stuffed to move or do anything, you can do whatever you want with me."
Rya gives you a naughty smile, and her pupils dilate.
"Anything?"
You lean in and plant a fresh kiss on her lips.
"Anything."
Rya chuckles lustily. "So are you ready to start?"
"Yes, I am. I'm going to use 'mahogany' as the safe word, ok?"
Rya looks away, mentally cataloging the safeword. "Mahogany. Ok, got it. I'm going to start right now, if you're ready."
You nod your head.
Rya takes a moment to close her eyes and take a breath. She opens them, and there is a sudden hardness to her bearing that wasn't there before.
"Alright," She says in a firm tone. "You are now under my power. While you're under my power, you do not have a name, you are my slave. Got that?"
In mere moments, you feel yourself slipping into the comfortable submissive mindset as easily as a well-worn shoe.
"Yes, mistress," you reply with a familiar timid eagerness.
Rya smiles, satisfied. "Good. Now, tonight your mistress wants to see how much her favorite slave can eat. Go to the bedroom and await me. There, I will tie you down, then feed you decadent treats until you beg for mercy."
Your mind races with images of you as a helpless captive, as Rya's slave. She was already good at taking charge in bed, but she's apparently a natural at dominant roleplay too. Soon you're almost delirious with excitement, but you have enough sense to notice that your very fat girlfriend is still straddling your lap.
"Mistress," you barely squeak out, "I cannot get out from underneath you..."
Rya seems distracted or annoyed for a mere moment, then her face resumes its previous arrogant aura.
"Oh, I know," Rya purrs, clearly improvising, "That was a test, and you failed. You were supposed to wait for me to let you out. But because you talked back, I'm going to punish you even more."
Rya then firmly grips your head, curling her fingers into your hair. She declares in a commanding voice, "You should be grateful to be experiencing my magnificent body up so close, but I can see now that you are clearly an ingrate, and that your punishment is well-deserved."
Releasing your hair, she heaves herself off of you. "Now, slave," She commands, "Go to the bedroom and remove your clothes. Await my arrival, do as I say, and perhaps I will reward you. After administering some punishment of course."
"Yes, mistress," you simper.
You heave yourself off of the couch and stagger towards the bedroom. As you flop onto Rya's bed and start stripping off your clothes, you hear her rummaging around in the kitchen. In moments, you've pulled off your clothes and are laying on her bed, as ordered. You're practically floating with anticipation. Even though you know exactly what's going to happen, your body still tingles with excitement.
In what seems like no time, Rya eventually appears, filling the doorway. She has a cheesecake balanced on a plate in one hand (you recognize it as part of her usual freezer stock, but aren't about to spoil the moment), and a length of sturdy rope in the other. She looks down at you, winking.
"You might want to prepare yourself, slave," she says, setting the cheesecake on a bedstand. "Because tonight, you're my plaything."
Rya uncoils the rope, brandishing it by snapping parallel lengths against each other.
The last thing you clearly recall is her command to bring your wrists together, then a grinning Rya descending upon you with the coils of rope.
The remainder of the evening has you so deep in a submissive trance that it goes by in a blur. You vaguely recall a persistent ache in your overfull stomach, a mindless eagerness to gorge yourself, and Rya pleasuring herself and you with a novel ferocity.
When the sun finally comes up, you feel like you've barely gotten a few hours of sleep, let alone a proper night's rest. You roll over, groaning, and pull your arm across your eyes.
Rya's chubby arm suddenly wraps around your middle. The bed creaks as she pulls herself nearer, then you feel a tender kiss on the side of your face.
"You made me very happy last night, slave. I think you can have your name back now," she whispers tenderly into your ear.
You squint at her, your eyes still half-asleep.
"Thank you, mistress."
Rya giggles, then replies, "I love you, Anon. I had a lot of fun last night. Any time you get some kinky fantasy, let me know. I bet I can do even better than your imagination."
You smile and look at her. "I love you too Rya. I love that you're so accepting..."
The two of you lay intertwined in bed for a few long minutes, then you feel more than hear a hungry rumble from deep within Rya.
"I'm starving," Rya whines theatrically. "Wanna get some brunch?"
"You know my answer to food is always going to be yes," you reply through a laughing yawn.
Rya hauls herself to a sitting position and giggles back, "Careful Anon, with an attitude like that, you just might get fat!"
"Don't threaten me with a good time," you reply with a smirk.